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On my run today, I approached a contained body of water. It’s known as a waterpark, not as large as a lake, but sufficient enough. The wind was moving through the trees ferociously, making them creak and undulate; then the roar of the wind would whip through the trees and my hair.
On the horizon, I saw the body of water and immediately started slowing my pace. I’m not sure if you are the same, but when I see open water, I have to stop and take it in. Take in the way the light reflects off the oily, liquid mirror; the way the water ripples and undulates like a serpent moving across the earth; or the way sand contours and ripples over dunes.
I feel the immensity and the calmness that water ignites within me all at once. Like the wind and water, I feel both grounded and full of life.
I realise I am living and breathing many dualities at once — and that’s okay. I stood and gazed over this water, feeling immense gratitude to even be by a body of water. No, it wasn't the sea (I love to be by the sea), but this containment of water was still speaking to me. It spoke of the importance of there being more than one truth, at any one time.
I always thought I was someone who liked change, but I realise I am terrified of it. I like comfort, I like my safe spaces; this has felt more true since Covid, which left me a bundle of anxiety. I lost the inner courageous person within me; I became so used to my own four walls (external and internal) that it felt too big to dip my toe in the world again. I shared more about this in my previous Monday Newsletter, which you can read below.
I write in this newsletter about my phrase of the year, this being ‘I can do hard things’. To allow ourselves to change and to move with the internal growth we may be processing, we need to be open to change, as hard as that is to admit. This change doesn’t have to be grand, but it could be in the smaller acts: choosing to say no instead of yes to things you don’t want to do; saying yes to big dreams you have put on hold; reclaiming a sense of self-worth through leaving behind old patterns which keep you small. Okay, upon reflection, those are pretty big things — but you understand where I’m coming from. Perhaps it’s about taking the small steps to those bigger moments.
In order to grow, we need to be open to change. I need to be open to change. Like water, I want to be in flow, and adapt to it’s ever-changing course.
From one quiet creative to another, I’ll speak to you next week.
Hannah x
If you enjoyed this post, I’d love to hear more about your thoughts on change. Something for you to ponder:
How do you deal with change? Is it something that feels welcome in your life? How could you invite small moments of growth into your life this year?
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I feel the immensity and the calmness that water ignites within me all at once. Like the wind and water, I feel both grounded and full of life.
I love that quote. Being by water always calms me immensely.
I try to not focus so much on changes but more on the philosophy of what will be will be. Often we can’t alter outcomes anyway so why waste energy on it. It’s easy to write and say this but not so easy in reality. Resilience and practice.
I have always disliked change. I gladly settle into routines.
Life, on the other hand, cared not a bit about my preferences, and change has been a constant in my life despite my personality.
What helped me embrace the inevitable changes life throws at you is to carefully analyze what resulted from each change. In a few cases, the results were negative, but in the majority of cases I was happy the change was thrust upon me. So if most of the time the change results in a net positive, I learned not to fear change. I even started to proactively make some changes, something that would have startled my younger self.